you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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