the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Couch. On fire.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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