omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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