I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
