I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
