She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
