I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
