I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
