ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
