i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
