around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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