He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
