At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize