The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
