my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
