Sponge bath it is.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
