Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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