I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
