sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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