Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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