He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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