After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
