I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
