Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Randomize
