This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
