I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Are these your boobs on my camera?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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