I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
