last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
