Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
