i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
