OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
