I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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