My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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