So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
