As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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