I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
