If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
