If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
