My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
