We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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