i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
