somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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