Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
