My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
this will be a night to untag.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
