What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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