Sponge bath it is.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize