I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
