i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
