He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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