He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
