I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
