he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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