my sisters under your porch take her home
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Floor bacon is actually really good
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
