dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize