soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
