ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
