I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
