11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You have to summon your inner elephant
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
