Only a mothe r could love this liver
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
