the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
