So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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