Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
