she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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