How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
