Who did Billy Mays play for?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize