his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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