So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
